So, you want to be an ally this pride?
It is that time of year where rainbows come out, flags are raised, and the queer anthem of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way plays loud and proud. We see people and business stand in support of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. When July approaches, representation and support often goes away. As the months continue, we need to remember that pride and advocacy for the 2SLGBTQIA+ community is needed year round, not just one month out of the year.
So you want to be an ally? You might be asking yourself what an ally is. An ally is defined as, “a member of a dominant group in our society who works to dismantle any form of oppression from which they receive the benefit.” (i.e., you may be heterosexual and you support the 2SLGBTQIA+ community). However, being in support of a minority group does not make you an ally. Allyship is a title that many give themselves, without doing the work and without that title being given by the minority group. It is important to remember that it is only the members of oppressed groups that are the ones to determine who constitutes as an ally. It is a title to be given and is often hard earned.
The riot of pride is more than the rainbows, glitter, and parades. Pride is about celebrating our progress and celebrating our existence in the light, despite all the odds that have been against our community. For so long we have had to exist in the shadows. Pride is about paying homage to those who came before us, and fought for the rights we have today that would not have been possible without them. We also need to recognize and remember these activists. Pride has been accused of being white-washed. There is no pride, if it isn’t intersectional. Marsha P. Johnson, a Black trans woman, and Sylvia Rivera, a Latina trans woman are both well-known in the Stonewall riots. Marsha has been said to have thrown the first brick. Neither Johnson or Rivera took credit for this. Nevertheless, both trans women of color were at the forefront of the LGBT+ rights movement. During pride and all year round, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Colour) voices need to be uplifted and heard.
There are many ways that people can practice allyship and support the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Here are 9 to consider:
- Make your stance clear. Ensure the queer people around you know your stance on the queer community and our rights. Make sure they know that the queer people around you know that you accept and support them.
- Educate yourself on queer history and queer pride. I bet you have heard someone say, “Why don’t we have straight pride?” Once you educate yourself on the oppression, stigma, victimization, and violence, queer people have experienced throughout history, and continue to experience, you will have a better understanding of the importance of pride.
- Educate yourself on 2SLGBTQIA+ terms, identities, issues and current injustices.
- Be mindful of tokenism. It is fine to ask a queer person a question for clarification or on something you are trying to understand, if you have their consent. But it is important to attempt to do your own research first. It is not any minority group’s responsibility to educate you. Do your own work first.
- Speak up. When you witness or hear something that is anti-queer, speak up against it. Speak up and advocate for queer people that may be fearful to say something. Use your privilege and take on the role as amplifier to raise queer voices. Know when to amplify these voices to ensure they are being heard and respected. But also know when it is time to speak and when to listen.
- Don’t pressure someone to come out. There are misconceptions that you need to be out in order to be valid in your identity, or if you are not out that you have not accepted your gender and/or sexuality identities. There are many reasons someone may not be out, safety being a main one. Some people may be out in some spaces, and not in others. People are in a wide range of circumstances and situations, we must remember that we cannot judge someone for this. Not everyone has this privilege and this is where they are in their life. Just be there and be a part of their support network.
- Donate to a 2SLGBTQIA+ organization.
- Stop supporting anti-gay and anti-trans businesses and organizations.
- Be mindful of queer spaces. All spaces are straight spaces, there are only a few queer spaces, especially in rural areas, that queer people feel safe and seen. There are times and situations where allies are accepted and encouraged, but there are times where it is important for only queers to occupy those spaces, and as someone who is not in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, you will need to be respectful of that.
-Cassie Cole, RSW